.. and then I find out that my husband is jacking off, picturing his wife getting balled by a black man." She was really pissed. "I heard you get up last night, and I watched as you got your pornography, and pulled your pud in the bathroom." So tonight I'm going to give you a show.You get off on that fantasy stuff, so let's see how you like the real thing." "Hey Jill, you can't mean to fuck John tonight, it's just a fantasy!" I said. She replied that was just a fantasy. I 'm going to act like the sluts in your stories. Let's see how far you'll let me go!John will be here in a minute. You can stop this anytime you want to. OK, good I thought. I started to say stop, but there was a knock at the door. It was John. I looked at Jill and said, "we have to let him in for a drink, but just one, and then he goes." Jill looked at me and said, "It's up to you Ben...I'll go as far as you'll let me."She was toying with me. OK I could do the same with her. Looking at each other in a standoff, I. ..why hadn't she stopped me? Her actions made me consider so many other things I'd never contemplated before. Why did Susan always insist on horror movies when she knew how they troubled her, was it so she could cling so tightly to me like she often did on movie nights? Looking back, I remembered that she often found an excuse to be outside my bathroom when I exited the shower, was she hoping to catch me in my birthday suit? She always asked me to put sunblock on her body when we went to the beach, never her mother as most k**s did. We were more affectionate than any of her friends were with their Dads, was that intentional on her part? Was she trying to entice me?Dinner that evening was a quiet affair for the most part. Susie told a few stories from her typically crazy day at work, yet I remained somewhat silent as I viewed my daughter with new eyes. She was more mature than I had previously given her credit for, and appeared to have aged a couple years overnight. My little girl was.
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